I saw you in my dreams again last night. 

I love you.

I could write endless hours of nonsense but you’ll still never know. 

Did I make it all up?

I think there will always be apart of me that will love you, 

That will want you, 

That will always fantasise a life with you, 

That will always wish I could turn back the clock. 

If only I could go back, relive my life, change almost every decision I’d made. 

Looking back now I can’t understand how I could’ve been so stupid, so naive, so utterly oblivious to what was. 

How could I not see what was so blatantly in front of me all along? 

How could I be so blind? 

But was I really? was I pushing away something that was always there? 

Something that scared me. 

Something that I was so terrified to ruin, that I didn’t do anything at all. 

I was frozen. 

I always so scared that if it didn’t work, if we didn’t work out, I’d ruin it, I’d ruin it all. 

I’d loose my best friend… 

How could I possibly wager that bet. 

How could I possible risk you.. 

Risk us… 

For something that I may have made up in my mind. 

Did I make it up all along? 

Or am I still that naive? Am I still that blind? 

Did I make it all up?  

Is it all in my head.. 

I think I always will.

I love you, like I really really love you. 

I always have. 

I think I always will. 

How can I be so selfish at a time like this..

Are you okay? 

Maybe not, but I’m sure you will be. 

You must feel so alone 

You must be so lost 

Your whole world has been flipped upside down

Where will you go, what will you do.. 

I’m so selfish but I can help but hope you’ll come back to Australia now.. 

Will I finally be able to see you again. 

How could I possibly be thinking of myself when you’re in the position you’re in.. 

but I can help it - I miss you so much. 

Please come home rob, I’d give anything to be able to hug you, spend any time I can with you, just be around you. 

I love you so much, I hope I can hear your voice soon.